There's Something About Mori's Pants
by paynesgrey
Summary: Mori wakes up after a huge graduation party with the host club and realizes his pants have mysteriously disappeared. The Host Club solves this mystery the best way they can, with random humor and thankfully with Haruhi's cunning brain. [oneshot]


**Written for EmpathEia for hcflashfic at Livejournal. She requested the character, Mori.**

**There's something about Mori's pants**

As Takashi Morinozuka cracked an eye open from the imposing light into the window, he noticed that it felt a bit draftier than usual. Thinking nothing of it, he rolled back over on his side, turning his back to the light and cuddling up to a soft warm pillow.

However, five minutes later, his semi-warm, peaceful sleep was rudely interrupted by a screech, followed by a gaggle of chatter.

"Mori-senpai, wake up!" The voice was Haruhi Fujioka's, which Mori felt was strange since he was quite sure Haruhi Fujioka did not belong in his bedroom.

Dazedly, he sat up, meeting the eyes of Tamaki, Kyouya, and even Haruhi and Renge. They stared at him with fish eyes, shocked and speechless.

Strange… what was he doing waking up in the morning in Music Room 3 of the Host Club?

Then it hit him. Last night the host club had a private close-knit graduation party, wherein they had served a plethora of commoner's food and sweets, as well as alcoholic beverages. His mind was fuzzy, but he was sure he had passed out from all the drinking. And looking at the others before him, they had fallen asleep at the club as well. But then why were they looking at him like he had two heads?

"Um… Mori-senpai." Haruhi flushed, and Tamaki covered her eyes as she pointed to Mori's lap. "What happened to your pants?"

Looking downward at his lap, he realized why the room had been so drafty. He had woken up in front of everyone with nothing but his shirt and tight-fitting briefs. His usual placid face turned into a sickly, shade of purple to show his embarrassment.

All he could say to this was, "Hn…"

---

And suddenly, as the sound came from Mori's mouth, Tamaki had thrown a fit. Haruhi continued to ogle at him, trying not to get her eyes stuck on the form-fitting briefs that molded nicely over his lean, tanned skin. Renge, of course, was more shameless than Haruhi, and she fished out her fan-girl binoculars for a closer inspection, peering and burning a hole into Mori-senpai's obvious, well-endowed morning bulge. Kyouya was more than happy to continue to ponder the situation calmly as everyone else seemed entranced by it.

Tamaki finally noticed Haruhi and Renge's interest, and shooed them away quickly (with Renge kicking and protesting) and then locked them out of the Music Room.

"I'm sorry, Haruhi, but daddy is not ready for his little girl to see such things!" Tamaki cried against the shut door.

Haruhi pounded on the door and yelled, "_You'r_e not ready? Who's _your_ little girl? Senpai, open up!"

Tamaki whined loudly and forced himself to ignore Haruhi's cries. (He could very well ignore Renge at any and every time.) And then he put his hand to his chin pondering the situation along with Kyouya; although, his pacing and demeanor seemed a bit fiercer.

"Oh, how did this happen?" Tamaki asked, and then he turned to Mori. "Now I know you, Mori; you would not be so devious to intimidate my daughter, especially in such a way."

"You idiot," Kyouya quipped. "It was not his intention to wake up this morning pants-less. We all had a lot to drink last night, and well … didn't you notice that the twins are gone this morning?"

"And Mitsukuni too," Mori chimed in, still staring down at his pants-free dilemma.

"Hrmm… interesting…" Tamaki continued to tap his chin with his finger and assess the situation. Finally, after a moment of silence, Tamaki's concerned expression changed, and he seemed to be as excited as ever. "Well, it looks like the host club has another mystery to solve!"

Kyouya sighed in exasperation, accustomed to Tamaki's random change of moods. Once again he would have to step up to be the voice of reason. "Sure, sure, but first you don't think you should find Mori some pants to cover up? And let the girls in too. I need Haruhi's rational mind." He gave him a severe, straight look and then added, "Because we're certainly not going to solve this problem with just you."

Tamaki brushed off Kyouya's obvious insult, and took off to find Mori a new pair of pants. Because the sooner Mori got pants, the sooner he would see his precious daughter again.

--

Haruhi sighed heavily, exasperated again with Tamaki's outlandish behavior and being drug into another silly situation.

"I don't understand why Mori-senpai can't just get a new pair of pants. You guys are rich enough to afford a hundred pants!" she said, and she still appeared enamored with Mori, even after he had borrowed a pair of Kyouya's pants. She flushed visibly, and she was obviously still flustered as the borrowed pants fit tightly around Mori's pelvis and caused him to have high waters. It looked as though he was about to bust right out them.

Before Tamaki could flail with annoyance at Haruhi's obvious attraction to Mori, Kyouya put a hand over his mouth and responded to her with reason.

"Ah, but you don't understand, Haruhi. Those were Mori-kun's favorite pants, so it's imperative we find out who took them from him, and then left him in such a state," replied Kyouya calmly.

"I don't understand; they're just a pair of pants," Haruhi replied in confusion.

"Oh, my dear daughter!" Tamaki proclaimed, and he had wriggled his way out of Kyouya's grasp and slithered over to put his arm around Haruhi. She gave him an unpleasant look as he rambled on. "You just don't understand the ways of a man. Every man has that perfect pair of pants, the ones that fit snuggly and comfortably, where you can dance and move and don't feel any pesky constrictions in … ah certain areas. And those are just the type of pants we are searching for Mori-kun. Right?" He turned to Mori, who gave a nod.

"Ugh…I'm sorry I asked," Haruhi replied, a little queasy from Tamaki's explanation. As usual, he said more than she needed to know.

"In any case, we must find these pants and solve this mystery!" Tamaki proclaimed with vigor. He looked at Mori with sympathy and said, "I don't know how much longer he can stay in those pants. We sent someone out to order a new pair, but until then, he's stuck in Kyouya's pair."

Renge harrumphed, and immediately put her two cents in, "Well, if you ask me. I think the twins did it. They're sneaky, and it would be just the sort of thing they would do to an unconscious person."

Haruhi got a pensive look in her face and then cocked her head. "I'll admit, the twins are definitely obvious culprits, but I don't think it's that easy. You'll notice that Hunny-senpai is gone as well, and he hardly ever leaves Mori-senpai's side."

Everyone nodded in agreement with her, even Renge, and they all continued their focus on Haruhi as she explained her theory.

"I think Hunny-senpai has something to do with it, though I don't know what his motive would be."

"Wow! That's my little Haruhi! Always the deductive one!" Tamaki gushed, and he made a run for her and she squished his face back with her hand to stop him.

"Stop that; your antics are just delaying us further into finding out where Hunny-senpai is," Haruhi chided him, and Tamaki seemed to whimper into the corner as she reprimanded him so harshly.

"So we should look for Hunny-senpai?" Renge asked, and Haruhi and Kyouya both nodded in agreement. Mori stood up from the couch and walked over to them as well, intent on finding out if Hunny had anything to do with it. Haruhi's intuitiveness was usually very sharp, so he was eager to find his friend.

"Yep, let's go. I'm sure he's still on school grounds, even after graduation," Haruhi said, and Mori nodded in agreement and came up to walk beside her. The rest of them followed Mori and Haruhi as they headed out of the Music Room.

--

"Here?" Renge scoffed. She looked up at the sign that said, "Ouran School Laundry Facilities", and then turned to Haruhi with confusion. "Why would he be here?"

"Shh…" Haruhi hushed, and then she smiled. "Listen."

And as they shut out the noises of the wash machines and dryers, they could hear crying faintly coming from the end of the room.

"Mitsukuni …" Mori said automatically, and then Haruhi nodded. The both of them took off running toward the direction of the cries. When they reached the end, the sight before them proved that Haruhi's instincts were right.

Hunny was bawling as he tried to scrub out a huge stain from Mori's pants. It appeared that the stain was not coming out, and that Hunny was too late on getting out whatever had been spilled.

"Mitsukuni …" Mori said in a comforting voice, and shyly, Hunny turned around with tears and snot covering his face.

"Takashi… I'm so sorry … (Sniffle)… I spilled plum juice all over you pants last night… (Sniffle) and I didn't see it until this morning. By then… (Sniffle) it was already dry," he replied, and then burst loudly into tears and ran into Mori's open arms. Everyone had caught up to Mori and Haruhi and looked at the scene with compassion.

"It's okay, Mitsukuni… I can wear my favorite pants with plum juice on them too," Mori said softly, and Hunny's sniffles seemed to decrease.

"Really? You're not mad?" Hunny asked incredulously. His eyes waited anxiously for Mori's response.

"Of course not. I like that shade of purple." Hunny's emotions transformed, and he hugged Mori jubilantly. Haruhi smiled, and everyone seemed relieved that the mystery was finally over.

"I must admit that these mysteries are getting easier with Haruhi around," Kyouya said, and Renge nodded in agreement beside him.

"There's just one thing I can't figure out," Tamaki offered with a confused expression. "Why did the twins leave if they weren't guilty of anything?"

"Hrmm… there could be tons of reasons why they left," Kyouya said. No one seemed to notice Haruhi blushing and trying to fade into the background.

"Right," Tamaki answered laughing. "Those two could be up to anything, and no one would know."

But Haruhi knew _exactly_ what the twins were up to, and it was hard enough masking her own shame.

--

"This is one thing we're going to treasure forever!" Kaoru cackled with a wicked gaze. Hikaru grinned cheekily as the two devious brothers inspected their prize.

"Who knew that if we got Haruhi drunk enough, we could convince her to _willingly_ give us her panties?"

THE END


End file.
